ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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