Nicole vs. Life
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
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