I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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