I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
