You're a womanizer and a bitch.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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