I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
