Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
even my farts smell like vagina
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
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Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
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I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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