Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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