Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
