I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
