well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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