there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
my shit smells like andre
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
