the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
