it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
