can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
