Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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