i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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