My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
