Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
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I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
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