no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
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