I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
