i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
