So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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