My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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