D3 body, D1 cock
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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