see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
