I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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