thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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