sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
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Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
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I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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