HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
