I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
