i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
