i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
