I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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