after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
