What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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