Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
