We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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