honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
