You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
