That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
