can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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