DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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