It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize