we're blogging at a bar
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
