no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize