i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Randomize
