In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Randomize
