you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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