just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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