no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
