A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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