my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
