dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
