I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Randomize
