so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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