Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
