i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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