she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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