Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.